Which female relative irks you the most?

[LiveLifeMoment]

The MIL-DIL saga is depicted in every ghar-ghar-ki-kahani (all houses).

But between MIL, SIL (your spouse's sister), another SIL (your spouse's brother's wife), your own sister, and your own mother, who is the relative that you can't stand?

I never had problem with MIL but most of my problems are with SILs. Why ? Because our bandwidths in family ethics, relationship maintenance never matched. They are also very chaloo (street smart) that they hide all differences from their brother, so I end up being the scape goat.

What is your opinion on this?

[Anu]

So agree with the above.
With elders, you expect some misunderstanding and misinterpretation, due to the generation-gap. But, I get so upset when my SILs try to twist and turn my words or try to read in between lines and make assumptions. It gets so tough to handle.

In addition to all that drama, there is this stupid comparison mentality - noone is created equal. Everyone goes thro their share of joy and misery in life - Why cant they just accept it?

[LiveLifeMoment]

My MIL was very practical and never differentiated between her own daughters and myself but after her demise, I am finding it difficult to maintain family relationships especially with SILs and their spouses. If effort to maintain cordial relationship is so one sided, it is going to be fragile.

Another thing I have realized is old people should write clearly in writing the heirlooms (jewelery , money, cash, RE properties) in advance before their end. If they want to give it all to only few kids and exclude some, they should do it in writing. Now most of the families I know are engaged in family feuds benefiting no one but the lawyers in Indian legal system.

My uncle's family of 2 sisters and 2 brothers are fighting in court to settle from past 12 years! My one BIL is engaged in his side family feud from past 20 years. Some of the items in list under dispute are laughable but now it has become more of a ego than value My BIL shows me the list to derive more laughter when we visit them but does not want to stop the legal proceedings and save all the hassle !

[Anu]

Never realized that not writing will would cause so many issues. Probably we have to discuss about the process and complications in will and Trusts, etc.

[yuvimvp]

Guys are talking about high octane cricket match of tomorrow and gals are talking about female relatives and how to maintain good relationships.

Men are from Mars and Women from Venus should be so true

Memento_Vivere (can I call you MV?)/Anu, take it easy , don't take my tongue-in-cheek response seriously

[suhasini]

Mar 29, 2011 16:42:10 GMT -5 LiveLifeMoment said:

My MIL was very practical and never differentiated between her own daughters and myself but after her demise, I am finding it difficult to maintain family relationships especially with SILs and their spouses. If effort to maintain cordial relationship is so one sided, it is going to be fragile.

Another thing I have realized is old people should write clearly in writing the heirlooms (jewelery , money, cash, RE properties) in advance before their end. If they want to give it all to only few kids and exclude some, they should do it in writing. Now most of the families I know are engaged in family feuds benefiting no one but the lawyers in Indian legal system.

My uncle's family of 2 sisters and 2 brothers are fighting in court to settle from past 12 years! My one BIL is engaged in his side family feud from past 20 years. Some of the items in list under dispute are laughable but now it has become more of a ego than value My BIL shows me the list to derive more laughter when we visit them but does not want to stop the legal proceedings and save all the hassle !

Actually, we lost a piece of land due to such complications. My father-in-law and his relative inherited some property, together. But there were no documents involved - just some relatives as witness. The relatives sued us and we lost what was originally given to us, due to lack of proof.

[suhasini]

If I have to pick a female relative, I would actually say my MIL. She is so demanding and restrictive. But the rules are so different when it comes to her daughter - feel like asking if we are made of stone, while her daughter is made of butter. :-(

[nancydrew]

Very interesting topic. I think it is MIL naturally.

[tara]

I am fine with my MIL , she is really nice but can't stand my SIL:)

Can we have a thread about males too? I want to mention my FIL ;D