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Post by superman on Apr 15, 2011 14:17:50 GMT -5
Most of the parents (especially wives of friends) I come across talk on education of their kids non stop. Like how will they fare in life? How will the parents fund their education? What after-school activities should the kids engage to keep them superior in the lot , what GPA their kids, what score is ideal to get to good colleges even when their kids are still in middle school !!
Some level of pro-activeness is good but worrying about kid's education all the time is not productive IMO. Times have changed from when we studied versus now and parents are more involved than ever but the level that Asian/Jewish parents micromanage their kid's lives and discussing at all meetings/get-togethers is reaching alarming level .
Do you guys(and ladies) agree with this assessment?
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Post by LiveLifeMoment on Apr 15, 2011 14:31:09 GMT -5
In my experience, both parents of this generation think about their kid's education and improving their chances; Moms may express it more openly so tend to come across as they worry a lot and guys internalize it.
I also think that eventhough moms seem to be more pro-active in kid's education and other activities, usually if the kid(s) do not meet the society's standard of success (having lot of money or a successful career) later in life, moms take it easier than dads.
Is that true or just my observation?
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Post by courtneywalsh on Apr 16, 2011 10:15:51 GMT -5
Most of the parents (especially wives of friends) I come across talk on education of their kids non stop. Like how will they fare in life? How will the parents fund their education? What after-school activities should the kids engage to keep them superior in the lot , what GPA their kids, what score is ideal to get to good colleges even when their kids are still in middle school !! Some level of pro-activeness is good but worrying about kid's education all the time is not productive IMO. Times have changed from when we studied versus now and parents are more involved than ever but the level that Asian/Jewish parents micromanage their kid's lives and discussing at all meetings/get-togethers is reaching alarming level . Do you guys(and ladies) agree with this assessment? I agree.  . One of the parent I know wanted to check why her kids grade was good instead of excellent in Hindi. She clarified with the Hindi teacher who said she did give the rating as excellent but it has been marked as good in the Report Card. Now, she wanted to go back to the class teacher to get it corrected. The grade was Upper Kindergarten. That parent happens to be by wife . I had asked her to stop going to the teacher. For me, the Hindi teacher telling me was good enough or even without that, I wouldn't have been bothered as I really don't care for academics. IMO, parents should focus on overall development of the kid rather than just academics. |
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Post by saidevotee on Apr 16, 2011 11:45:00 GMT -5
CW,
That is nice of you to share the experience - You better start praying that your wife never finds out about this forum :-)
Jokes apart, I believe that we have to set definite goals for the better of the kid. We do not have to take it to extremes, but we certainly need some structure. And there is nothing wrong in your wife wanting your kid to excel. And if the kid deserved a grade and it was the teacher's mistake on the record, why not get it corrected - after all, the teacher herself would not remember what she said by the end of the year.
Kindergarten is slightly too early for such goals and standards, but this could also help your son understand what the expectations are and help him when he reaches higher grades.
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tara
Full Member
Posts: 178
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Post by tara on Apr 18, 2011 10:32:08 GMT -5
In my experience, both parents of this generation think about their kid's education and improving their chances; Moms may express it more openly so tend to come across as they worry a lot and guys internalize it. I also think that eventhough moms seem to be more pro-active in kid's education and other activities, usually if the kid(s) do not meet the society's standard of success (having lot of money or a successful career) later in life, moms take it easier than dads. Is that true or just my observation? Very good observation. |
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Post by courtneywalsh on Apr 18, 2011 11:37:18 GMT -5
CW, That is nice of you to share the experience - You better start praying that your wife never finds out about this forum :-) Jokes apart, I believe that we have to set definite goals for the better of the kid. We do not have to take it to extremes, but we certainly need some structure. And there is nothing wrong in your wife wanting your kid to excel. And if the kid deserved a grade and it was the teacher's mistake on the record, why not get it corrected - after all, the teacher herself would not remember what she said by the end of the year. Kindergarten is slightly too early for such goals and standards, but this could also help your son understand what the expectations are and help him when he reaches higher grades. Yes, I am not going to give this link for sure to my wife. Just to add, it was after we had gotten his promotion card I am totally against setting any expectations from the kid with regards to academics. Discipline? Yes but not academics for sure. |
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Post by iplrocks on Apr 18, 2011 11:43:36 GMT -5
This is what our ancestors said regarding kids: 0-5 - Pamper them 6-10 - Discipline them 11-21- Be strict with them, never be friend with them in this age 21 onwards- Be friend with them Nowhere they said, micro manage them I think their wisdom applies to even now as this approach serves well for many of the today's generation's youngsters. Allowing them to find their uniqueness than asking them to follow herd mentality needs to be followed IMO. |
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Post by whitecloud on Apr 18, 2011 12:08:39 GMT -5
This is what our ancestors said regarding kids: 0-5 - Pamper them 6-10 - Discipline them 11-21- Be strict with them, never be friend with them in this age 21 onwards- Be friend with them Interesting actions. I think, they might have missed the trick between 11-21. Do you think this applies even to the present day generation? What if we can be friends with them from 16 onwards? Is that even possible? |
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