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Post by whitecloud on Apr 14, 2011 15:37:06 GMT -5
When you live in a country where you don't find as many Indians, how do you go about choosing your friends? Or do you even have the ability to choose your friends when there aren't as many?
IMO, most Indians like to socialize with our similar cultured Indians and it really gets complex when language, region and even cultural differences vary a lot between state to state.
When we moved to our city in the US, there were hardly any Indians. Also, the city didn't have a booming jobs market to attract or even sustain the highly qualified Indian population. It took us a while to make friends and form a group of our own.
Share your experiences here.
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Post by yuvimvp on Apr 14, 2011 16:43:13 GMT -5
I think misery loves company.
When everyone is FOB (Fresh off the Boat), people bury their differences in region/religion/food/customs/language/difference in temperaments etc. Once one starts gaining foothold on finance,immigration status change, kids growing up, buying houses etc the differences start showing up. I saw changes in my group of friends when H1 to GC transition happened and when kids reached around 10 years of age. Till that time group was very cosy.
In our case, another thing was we uprooted completely elsewhere leaving all the friends/connections made in the initial years (which are precious) and moved to a Desi rich neighborhood where making new connections was extremely difficult. That's when my wife became an internet message board junkie, converting me as well : )
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Post by whitecloud on Apr 15, 2011 8:39:55 GMT -5
Is this culture of craving a similar countryman as your friend prevalent only among Indians or even south asians or do you think others do the same too?
Our eyes light up when see a fellow Indian in a grocery store or at a business meeting. However, when in India, we do not think of it at all. I've also noticed some desis who don't even acknowledge another desi in a common place but are quick to do that with a non-desi!
Interesting to analyze some of these traits.
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Post by courtneywalsh on Apr 15, 2011 9:31:29 GMT -5
Is this culture of craving a similar countryman as your friend prevalent only among Indians or even south asians or do you think others do the same too? Our eyes light up when see a fellow Indian in a grocery store or at a business meeting. However, when in India, we do not think of it at all. I've also noticed some desis who don't even acknowledge another desi in a common place but are quick to do that with a non-desi! Interesting to analyze some of these traits. I've noticed in theme parks in US specially where Desi folks just try to avoid other Desi's. Haven't figured out the reason yet  |
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Post by modus_operandi on Apr 15, 2011 11:39:41 GMT -5
I've noticed in theme parks in US specially where Desi folks just try to avoid other Desi's. Haven't figured out the reason yet must be the amway effect. |
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Post by yuvimvp on Apr 15, 2011 14:03:49 GMT -5
Why blame Amway for anything? Even people who can make out whether the couple is in amway or working , tend to avoid eye contact. Much more visible in Desi haven areas like NYC and Westcoast.
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Post by LiveLifeMoment on Apr 15, 2011 14:25:00 GMT -5
CW,
May be they don't want to make new friends outside than their established group. In area where we live in, I was told that Desis avoid Desis they are not familiar with for the above fear that they didn't want to add more to their already overflowing list.
Making new friends after certain phase is hard unless one is ready to spend all the time in networking to make new friends!
Is situation in India any different?
May be in India, since family is nearby, one may not need friends that much plus in India, your colleagues automatically become your friends !
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Post by courtneywalsh on Apr 15, 2011 23:25:37 GMT -5
CW, Making new friends after certain phase is hard unless one is ready to spend all the time in networking to make new friends! Is situation in India any different? May be in India, since family is nearby, one may not need friends that much plus in India, your colleagues automatically become your friends ! Haven't experienced much with regards to friends but since everyone seems so busy in India these days, only friends you can make seems to be the workplace. |
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Post by whitecloud on Apr 16, 2011 19:00:00 GMT -5
Haven't experienced much with regards to friends but since everyone seems so busy in India these days, only friends you can make seems to be the workplace. I noticed this difference even during my vacation to India. I couldn't even meet up with my friends in the same city. I guess, this is a side-effect of the economic changes. |
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